Since yesterday was my birthday, I have officially reached the earliest age to collect social security (62), and my checks will begin rolling in next month. As a result, I decided to give my 10 year old Lexus SUV to my daughter and go get me something new. I'm all over the scale with what I want, or how much I want to spend. All I know is this car hopefully will last me about 8-12 years, so I want something safe and comfortable, and able to fit my 6'2", 250 lb arse in it. First stop last Saturday was back to my Lexus dealership. I was hoping to get into the new NX suv, but just too darn small for me. Even the Chinese salesman said, "you too big, car too small!" I then jumped into the new familiar RX suv, and of course, it was very nice and familiar, since that is what I already have. Problem is only the 2017 are out now, and the 2018 will not come out until October, so the price is close to $50K. I was happy to know that regular gas is adequate for the 6 cylinder suv. I then went to the Mercedes dealership. Between the hard to understand Asian salesman, and the 9+ different variations of suv's, I became dizzy. They had them from $35K to $299K, all over the place. My butt would not fit in the $35k model, so the cheapest one I fit comfortably was $59K. Car rode nice, but it was not very comfortable. All their cars use premium gas. I then went to a Chevrolet dealership. I like the Tahoe, but for just me and mama, it is way too much vehicle for me. I was pleasantly surprised at the new, 2018 Equinox, which was about $35K. Problem is they use a turbocharged 4 banger engine to run this, which takes premium gas. They also have a new designed 2018 Traverse, which now has a diesel option, but will take many months to get one since they are new in California. I can't drive the Traverse because there is a national recall on the new driveshafts, so they are considered a "do not touch" vehicle for the time being. Yesterday, I thought I would look at the new Range Rover Evoque. I see them on TV and like that style, but knew nothing beyond that. After a 45 minute drive to Pasadena (CA), right on the Rose Parade route, I went to this Range Rover dealership. The less than knowledgeable and lazy salesman looked at me and said, "you ain't gunna fit into that Evoque!" Well, for $45K, I damn well will make this decision for myself. Well, he was right. My head hit the ceiling, and I looked like 10 pounds of poop in a 5 pound bag. He obviously wanted me to look at the real Range Rover, but with the price tag of $95K, it better drive on water and fly, because that is too much money. I did see a Discovery Sport that I absolutely loved, and with incentives, I would be out the door at $50K. It was built very well, but again, it used a turbo 4 banger with premium gas only. All in all, I loved that car. It was solid, had auto parking assist, a heads up display that showed you the speed in the windshield and can actually read speed limit signs and tell you if you are speeding or not. My concern is the reviews on these cars are all over the place. The salesman said I could drive through a 28" river without an engine stall, but honestly, how often will I try to do this stupid stunt? Since we were in the area, I decided to look at the Porsche suv, since I was told some are very reasonable priced. They had 4 suv's on display. The cheapest suv was $87K, and went up to $119K. I sat inside, feeling embarrassed because the Asian saleslady knew I was out of my league. I didn't drive this and thanked her for her time. I then look 20' away and discover a Maserati suv, that I had to look at. Their starting price was $89K, and went up to $159k. This lady salesperson (by the way, looked like a high class hooker wearing diamonds, a $10K dress, with super high heels) Mama got mad when she layed on my lap to turn on the A/C, but I didn't mind at all. As I walked away, she asked if I would like to look at the new Bentley suv, which had a starting price of $300K. Today, we will be going to the Mazda dealership to see if anything will fit me. Also, since mama loves her Kia, I will look at the new Surrentos. I don't like the redesign and honestly love the Kia Sportage, as my daughter just bought one and loved it. My G/F told me to forget the Sportage, because it will be too small for me. I also plan on visiting Volvo, BMW and Ford, just to look at the Edge, to see if their priced have come down from years ago when I first became excited to see them. Right now, I still like that discovery Sport but fuel mileage will only be about 18 MPG and with premium gas, once the gas prices go back up, I will not be a happy camper. The Chevy diesel, with 40 MPG looks promising, but I won't be able to pick one up for months. Please offer me any advise, my friends, as to what you like and which direction I want to go. Help me pick out a new car!