Some things that come to mind at a point in life

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by jeeper1, May 7, 2015.

  1. jeeper1

    jeeper1 New Member

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    I found this timely, because today I was in a store that sells sunglasses, and only sunglasses.
    A young lady walks over to me and asks, "what brings you in today?"
    I looked at her, and said, I'm interested in buying a refrigerator.
    She didn't quite know how to respond. Am I getting to be that age?

    I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones
    that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one.
    So I'm wearing my garage door opener.

    You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

    I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

    I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is when you still have something on the ball
    but you are just too tired to bounce it.

    I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it ' Pumping Rust'.

    When people see a cat's litter box they always say, 'Oh, have you got a cat?'
    Just once I want to say, 'No, it's for company!'

    Employment application blanks always ask who is to be called in case of an emergency.
    I think you should write, 'An ambulance.'

    I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older.
    Then it dawned on me. They were cramming for their finals.

    As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on the curve.

    Birds of a feather flock together and then potty on your car.

    The older you get the tougher it is to lose weight because by then your body and your fat
    have gotten to be really good friends.

    The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

    Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are XL.

    The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble..

    Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells 'Theirs...'

    Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

    Some people try to turn back their "odometers." Not me. I want people to know
    'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

    You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

    Ah! Being young is beautiful but being old is comfortable.
     
  2. phideaux

    phideaux Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Ahha.. now I feel better...;):)






    Jim
     

  3. havasu

    havasu In the army now..

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  4. VThillman

    VThillman Active Member

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    Nice collection, I like all of them. And I would get me a cat litter box - but I never have company.

    ;)
     
  5. buster40c

    buster40c Well-Known Member

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    I like it. I see myself relating to a few of these.
     
  6. phideaux

    phideaux Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    That one , about bouncing the ball , kinda hits home...;):D




    Jim
     
  7. buster40c

    buster40c Well-Known Member

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    I thought about working out to get my 6 pack back but I figured nobody wants to see an old man take his shirt off. So I just got another 6 pack out of the fridge and keep my shirt on.
     
  8. phideaux

    phideaux Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Im not beautiful either....
    but Im comfortable..:)


    :waving:


    Jim
     
  9. Tommycourt

    Tommycourt Tommycourt

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    Okay,
    After trying to bounce the ball, threw it down on the ground and it just stayed there. I pondered for over and hour and a half trying to figger out what was wrong. Finally my neighbor came over and I showed him my dilemma. After about fifteen minutes he tried it and it did the same thing-just sat there on the floor. Finally he said: I think you have to have air in the ball to make it bounce. We are know trying to blow up the ball however when we blow on it, we run out of breath. Think we need help????
    Tommy