Some marital humor

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by MemphisJim1, Apr 15, 2016.

  1. MemphisJim1

    MemphisJim1 New Member

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    Start the week with a little marital humor
    In a very seductive voice a wife asked her husband "Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?"

    "No, said her husband.

    She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and slowly reached down in her cleavage, created by a soft, silky, push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.

    He took the crumpled twenty dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

    She then asked, "Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?"

    "No, I haven't," he said with an anxious tone in his voice.

    She gave him another sexy little smile, unzipped her skirt, letting it drop to the floor and seductively reached into her panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.

    He took the crumpled fifty dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

    "Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 50,000 dollars all crumpled up?"

    "No way!" he said, becoming even more aroused and excited to which she replied:

    "Go look in the garage."
     
  2. DoubleR

    DoubleR Active Member

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  3. Tommycourt

    Tommycourt Tommycourt

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    My first wife and I weren't getting along and she had been on my butt to rake the yard. I said I have 2 teen-age kids that need to learn how to run a rake and left. A week later I woke up late, walk out to the kitchen where my son was eating breakfast. I happened to look out the window and seen smoke. I thought to myself "one of the kids raked the yard and now she is burning the leaves". Shortly I saw some stringy looking things she held up with the rake and thought to myself- "that ain't leaves". I asked my son "what the hell is your mother burning?". He looked up at me and politely said "your clothes". Not long after we started divorce proceedings. She burnt everything including all my underwear! You cannot believe how much it costs to replace socks and underwear, let alone blue jeans and shirts!!!!!

    Tommy

    P.S. The joke above ain't funny!!! Let it happen to you before you make judgement.
     
  4. VThillman

    VThillman Active Member

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    You're right Tommy, that ain't humor. The escalation potential...
     
  5. buster40c

    buster40c Well-Known Member

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    I knew some woman that cut off all her husbands suit pants just above the knees. He didn't have anything to wear to work. Another guy got a call at work from his landlord saying his wife was moving out. He got home and he only had the clothes on his back. She took everything, even his clothes. Months later he got back together with her and she did it again.
    How is it humorous? Sometimes we look back and all we can do is laugh because we at least made it out alive.