Marriage

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by jeeper1, May 22, 2015.

  1. jeeper1

    jeeper1 New Member

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    An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
    The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.'
    The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'

    -----------------------------------


    While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.
    'What do you think?' I asked.. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
    'Better get a bikini,' he replied 'You'd never get it all in one.'
    He's still in intensive care.


    -----------------------------------



    The graveside service just barely finished, when there was a massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
    The little old man looked at the preacher and calmly said, 'Well......she's there.'

    -----------------------------------

    A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
    'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
    'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
     
  2. Tommycourt

    Tommycourt Tommycourt

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    Some of you guys will put anything on this thread to win that free membership, but what you don't realize, the deadline is still 3 years away and if you think I am going to sit here for 3 years-fergit it!!! I have been here a week already!!!:duck:


    But those are cute jokes-gotta admit that!!!!
    Tommy
     

  3. jeeper1

    jeeper1 New Member

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    Some of you guys will put anything on this thread to win that free membership, but what you don't realize, the deadline is still 3 years away and if you think I am going to sit here for 3 years-fergit it!!! I have been here a week already!!!

    What are you referring to?
     
  4. Tommycourt

    Tommycourt Tommycourt

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    Jeeper,
    What are you complaining about? I haven't left this computer for over a month or whenever the contest started. I don't want the membership, I would rather have the second prize. Jim said he would buy us a rifle or pistol or our choice if we can in second, so second place will make me happy:metal2:
    Didn't you say that Jim???? huh? huh? huh?
    Tommy
     
  5. phideaux

    phideaux Well-Known Member Lifetime Supporter

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    Considering that there is NO second place .... Yeah:D

    I suppose thats the joke of the day..



    Jim
     
  6. DoubleR

    DoubleR Active Member

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    It was a nice try though! Lol
     
  7. jeeper1

    jeeper1 New Member

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    Quote:
    Originally Posted by jeeper1 [​IMG]
    Some of you guys will put anything on this thread to win that free membership, but what you don't realize, the deadline is still 3 years away and if you think I am going to sit here for 3 years-fergit it!!! I have been here a week already!!!

    What are you referring to?


    Jeeper,
    What are you complaining about? I haven't left this computer for over a month or whenever the contest started. I don't want the membership, I would rather have the second prize. Jim said he would buy us a rifle or pistol or our choice if we can in second, so second place will make me happy:metal2:
    Didn't you say that Jim???? huh? huh? huh?
    Tommy

    I am not complaining about anything. I didn't know there was a contest going on. I pay no attention to things like that just like I ignore the lottery and gambling because I learned decades ago I never win.