Man jokes

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by jeeper1, May 30, 2015.

  1. jeeper1

    jeeper1 New Member

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    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
    'It depends,' I replied . 'What does it say on your shirt?'
    He yelled back, ' Notre Dame !'
    And they say blondes are dumb...
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    A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world...'
    The woman replies, 'I'll miss you.......
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    'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower..'Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
    'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
    ____________________________________
    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor
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    Dear Lord,
    I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods.
    Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
    AMEN
    ________________________________________
    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: They are practicing to be men.
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    Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
    A: Trustworthy. .
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    Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
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    Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
    A: It helps them remember which end to wipe..
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    Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
    _________________________________________

    While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world.........
    ......then He made the earth round , and laughed and laughed and laughed.
     
  2. DoubleR

    DoubleR Active Member

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    Awful but funny!!! I have never read so many man jokes before! Usually woman/blonde jokes. Thanks for the laugh!