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Ladies, be careful of "girls night out"

I over heard one of my wife's friends warning her



The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3:00 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution (even when totally smashed), in order to escape a possible conflict with him (because 3 + 9 = 12!). So smart!

The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him midnight. He didn't seem too upset at all. I was thinking... Whew! Got away with that.

Then he said, "I think we need a new cuckoo clock".

When I asked him why, he said, "well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then it said 'Oh S**t', and cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted."
 

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It's hard to find a designated sober cuckoo clock.
 

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Tommycourt
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Kinda reminds me of my 1st wife. Everytime she went bowling she would come home late with another different team shirt on. I asked her why her shirt was different. She said she had to fill in for other teams once in a while. I asked her if she had to change every week? She said: yeah, they got a lot of teams there. Then I asked her why they were always inside out when she came home. She said they had to change in a hurry when they got done. I wonder whose pin she was knocking down and how many. Never did tell me her score though. I told her to take up golf instead cuz they don't change shirts. Both her bowling and golf game scores probably would have been the same I suppose. One day I was on the golf course and a funeral went by so I doffed my hat and stood in silence while it passed. A little old lady came up and told me how gentlemanly I was. I said thank you but it was the least I could do. I was married to that old bat for 10 yrs.
Tommy
 
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